Will the narcissist regret losing you? Do they ever wish they had done things differently and finally realize what they lost in losing you?
🛑 Stop right there.
❌ That’s not how narcissists function in relationships nor is it how their brain operates. It’s not how they process loss or deal with loss. To the narcissist, it always revolves around them: their ego, their needs, and their supply of attention.
🟣 Watch the video as I explain how narcissistic regret works after losing you and how they might react to your leaving.
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When subjected to narcissistic abuse in a relationship, you will often find yourself:
Explaining logical reason
Defending your experience or interpretation of events
Reminding them of ways they’ve harmed you
Debating against double standards
Defending your own character or self-worth
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🟣 Keep learning and growing with more videos:
7 Painful Truths Empaths Must Eventually Face About Narcissists
Does the Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?
6 Signs You Are Suffering From Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome
In love and healing,
#narcissisticabuse #narcissism #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistregret #narcissistregretlosingyou #narcissisticregret
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Welcome back to my channel, this is Kim Syed, where we talk about everything, narcissistic abuse and Recovery.
Before we get started on today's topic, I invite you to subscribe and click the little bell, so you too will notify you when I publish new videos today we're going to talk about, will The Narcissist ever finally realize what they lost when, when you left them or went no contact, or maybe they left you and discarded you and you are wondering if they are feeling the same emotions of longing heartbreak remorse wishing they had done things differently in the relationship.
Almost everyone who's been in a relationship with a narcissistic personality.
Has this question: will they ever realize what they lost? What I was offering them in that relationship? Will they ever realize that they ruined a good thing, because, of course, this is what most of us want to believe that the narcissist after spending some time away from us, has had some kind of epiphany moment where they realize they're, really just getting rid of not only someone who's, deeply, compassionate and worthy, but that they're getting rid of someone or they're losing someone who can give them everything they want.
That's a very common question.
Well, I gave them everything they wanted.
How come it wasn't enough- and this is where I invite you to think about everything you have learned so far about narcissism or narcissistic personalities.
There are some YouTubers or public figures and teachers influencers who may make it seem as if narcissists have some sense of loss, but their sense of loss is nothing like ours.
The really disturbing thing is that narcissists are closer to cult leaders, Psychopaths and criminals than they are the general public.
Why do I say that if you've been following me for any length of time, you know that I am no longer glean information from the DSM when I do research now I turn to the dark, Triad, forensic psychology and criminology, because those areas are going to give you a much clearer picture of how narcissists really think the DSM is based on Old Freudian Concepts.
We're led to believe that narcissists are suffering from crippling low self-esteem and they hate themselves and that they're just wounded Beyond repair.
But after working in this field for over 10 years now, I, don't believe that to be true, narcissists don't realize what they've lost when they lose a good relationship partner, because in their minds there is always more now.
This won't stop them from obsessively trying to Hoover you and sucking you back into the narcissistic Vortex and when they do that, it may seem that they have reflected on all the ways that they were awful to you and that they sincerely have plans to change anyone who's ever given in to a narcissistic.
Hoover can vouch for the fact that narcissists do not appreciate people as individuals I've worked with people who are highly accomplished: people who have very expensive homes, cars they own their own businesses, or maybe they have licenses to practice.
Health Care Medicine, even psychology, people who have established themselves in life, people who are extremely compassionate and caring and forgiving you've got to understand that narcissists do not appreciate those things because I've seen people who have it all lose everything owing to narcissistic abuse, The Narcissist might try to Hoover you in between other Supply sources.
They are generally in various stages of relationship with different people.
They have those that they are love bombing can be more than one person.
They have people that they are in an active relationship with, and then they have the ones that they are discarding and then triangulating with another Supply source.
As long as you are with a narcissistic personality, you will not be appreciated, for who you are just ask all the people who have tried ask all the people who have tried to prove their worth to a narcissistic personality.
Even though they're very good actors.
They do not possess empathy.
You can't teach a narcissist empathy there's no way to implant empathy, and this is why they're able to abuse people with no remorse.
This is why they leave people when the going gets tough if you've ever had a challenge in your life or even an important Milestone that.
You looked forward to just go back to how the narcissist completely ruined that entire moment.
For you, there is a lot of material out there and teachers telling you that narcissists are suffering from this crippling, low self-esteem and self-hate.
And that they're just completely empty inside some of that.
May be true.
But what we're learning now is that narcissists? Don't always have this low self-esteem? They're? Not suffering from self-hate a lot of the reasons.
Narcissistic personalities act.
The way they do.
Is because they simply feel entitled to act.
The way they do.
Narcissistic personalities are not only on the dark.
Triad, but they are considered.
Dangerous by FBI, profilers.
Now, I know that deep in your heart, you are suffering greatly.
Just wishing, beyond all hope that the narcissist you care for or have recently left might be different from all the others that maybe somehow there's a chance that they do regret.
Losing you and I just want to encourage you not to waste your life on someone like that, because the narcissist, you know might be eating meals with you or sleeping beside you in bed that doesn't make them any less damaging or dangerous.
Now, usually, a narcissistic personality is going to be very convincing in making you believe that perhaps they do regret what happened.
They regret how they treated you and they'll come back vowing to do better, and this is going to make you feel like they mean it, but usually by this time, by the time the love bombing is over.
You've been devalued for some months now or possibly years.
If the narcissist was going to change, they would have changed by now.
Now it might be possible that you did offer them a lovely home.
Maybe you've made their car payments or paid their bills for them.
Maybe you looked the other way when they were Unfaithful.
None of those things are enough to endear you to a narcissist.
There is nothing about one individual that a narcissist will appreciate, they're only going to appreciate the things that they had access to.
While they were with you and, and so they might reflect on that.
So maybe they're in the middle of other Supply, maybe they're in the middle of other stages of relationship with other people and they're, realizing that other people aren't supplying them with the things they need, maybe a home, a car and other things that go along with being in a relationship.
But as soon as the next shiny thing comes along, they are going to dump you like a hot potato narcissists do not bond with other people emotionally.
Their lack of empathy prevents this from happening, but you might be using empathic projection to project feelings of Anguish and longing and heartbreak vulnerability, things that the narcissist is not capable of just in the way that narcissists use narcissistic projection to project all of their bad qualities onto us.
We do the same thing.
We try to project our good qualities onto them when, in reality there are none.
There so, if you've been following teachers and public figures who glean their information and do their research from the DSM and you're just struggling you're, not getting anywhere and you're still very confused I invite you to explore the dark, Triad learn about dark personalities, delve into criminology, because this is going to give you a better picture of really how a narcissist thinks than the DSM ever will.
So much for watching I appreciate you being here.
I'll see you next time.
Yes, a narcissist can indeed come to regret his actions. However this would not be because he is experiencing real remorse for hurting someone else, but rather because he does not like the consequences that follow. He may regret getting caught, or losing something he values as a result of his actions.Will a narcissist ever regret losing me? ›
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.Do narcissists ever regret what they've done? ›
Some narcissists may be able to feel bad about something they've done to hurt someone else. It isn't guilt they feel, so much as regret (or even anger) that things happened the way they did. But any “remorse” they feel is likely to be about how that behavior affected them rather than how it affected the victim.What do narcissists do once they know they lost you forever? ›
- They try to create a trauma bond.
- They exude manipulative behaviors.
- They use projection.
- Stop giving them attention.
- Set boundaries.
- Seek professional help.
- They try to re-establish power and control.
A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.What makes a narcissist feel regret? ›
Some narcissists may be able to feel bad about something they've done to hurt someone else. It isn't guilt they feel, so much as regret (or even anger) that things happened the way they did. But any “remorse” they feel is likely to be about how that behavior affected them rather than how it affected the victim.What makes a narcissist regret losing you? ›
Your actively cutting ties can cause the narcissist to feel rejection, and lead them to regret their choice of letting you go. Make a promise to yourself to remain unavailable to them and stay strong with this decision. Keeping yourself absolutely unobtainable to them shows them you have risen from the ashes.Are narcissists ever sorry for what they do? ›
If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.Does a narcissist ever go away for good? ›
So, a narcissistic relationship will last for as long as they can get something out of it. If you keep giving them attention, a narcissist will keep coming back. They will return as many times as they want, but only if you allow them to. Toxic relationships can happen to anyone.Does the narcissist ever realize they made a mistake? ›
In refusing to acknowledge that they have made a mistake, narcissists fail to learn from those mistakes, a recent study from Oregon State University – Cascades found.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.Do narcissists think they own you forever? ›
Essentially, what the narcissist wants is for you to be completely dependent and sucked into a relationship where you will believe that you need to stay with that person in order to survive. They think they own you. As a result of all the the previous points, this is the end game and a harsh truth.Do narcissists ever discard people permanently? ›
Though typical narcissists do not discard people because they crave attention, covert narcissists may go to extreme measures to permanently discard you.Do narcissists let you move on? ›
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.Do narcissists forget you easily? ›
Reality Check 101. It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.Do narcissists get upset when you move on? ›
Although they will try to mask it as much as possible, a narcissist will get angry, seeing that you have moved on already. Deep down the show of grandiosity, narcissists have a fragile sense of self-esteem, which is easily threatened when they see their ex with someone else.What upsets a narcissist the most? ›
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
- Criticize them.
- Take authority away from them.
- Say “no.”
- Go “no contact.”
- Expose their behavior in public.
- Succeed in areas they want to dominate.
- Make them jealous.
- Trick them into doing you a favor.
Narcissists carry a LOT of shame. From mistakes made in the past, fear of not being enough, to fear of criticism in the present and future. For many narcissists their lives are rather shame-based but, they will never admit it.Does a narcissist miss you after no contact? ›
The narcissist is hurt because usually there wouldn't be anyone to give them the attention and satisfaction they would get from their partner, not until the no contact phase is over or they find another person to work their “magic” on. So, does a narcissist miss you after no contact? In many cases, they will.
Worse, their neediness fuels anger, criticism, rage, and passive aggressions. In their neediness they draw you into griping sessions, circular arguments, and complaints. Likewise, it prompts them to use sales tactics (like persuasion and pleading) in their discussions with you.How do you break a narcissistic ego? ›
- Ignore their forms of manipulation.
- Flaunt how happy you are without them.
- Set boundaries to protect yourself.
- Deny them what they want.
- Stay calm when they try to upset you.
- Cut off all contact with them if you can.
- Be leery of future love bombing.
Narcissists can and do love, but their love tends to be superficial and fleeting. They can develop intense emotional attachments—even appearing to "fall in love"—and yet still maintain a complete lack of empathy for the object of their affection.Will a narcissist spend money on you? ›
To narcissists, spending large amounts of money on others can be a way to get people to like them. They may be stingy in private, for example, but cover dinner for colleagues or give gifts just for show.Are narcissists sad that they are narcissists? ›
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.Can a narcissist still care about you? ›
“As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey. Instead, narcissists will only have people in their lives that benefit them; they are very selfish people.Can a narcissist ever be saved? ›
The bottom line. Narcissistic tendencies can improve with support from a compassionate, trained therapist. If you choose to remain in a relationship someone dealing with these issues, it's essential to work with your own therapist to establish healthy boundaries and develop resilience.What eventually happens to narcissists? ›
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.Does a narcissist feel bad after a breakup? ›
They experienced higher levels of negative emotions and walked away with particularly negative views of their ex-partner. So if you're ending a relationship with a narcissist, you may find them either especially nonchalant about the breakup or especially upset.When a narcissist life falls apart? ›
The narcissist then "falls apart" in a process of disintegration known as decompensation. The dynamic forces which render him paralysed and fake - his vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and fears - are starkly exposed as his defences crumble and become dysfunctional.
In conclusion, it can be said that the narcissist does not miss the empath. An empath is simply a tool the narcissist can use to achieve their ends. The empath is not seen as an individual with their thoughts and feelings but as a means to an end.Do narcissists get off on hurting you? ›
Some narcissists - though by no means the majority - actually ENJOY abusing, taunting, tormenting, and freakishly controlling others ("gaslighting"). But most of them do these things absentmindedly, automatically, and, often, even without good reason.What hurts a narcissist more? ›
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.What narcissists say after a breakup? ›
Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me." Don't listen, Orloff advises.What does a narcissist crave the most? ›
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.Why will a narcissist leave you forever? ›
Sometimes a triggering event will motivate the narcissist to leave. These are usually life-altering events for one of you. If you become ill or incapacitated or unable or unwilling to participate in the life the narcissist has designed, that may prompt the narcissist to leave.Do narcissists deeply hate themselves? ›
Much of the time, a narcissist's behaviour isn't driven by self-love – rather, self-hatred.Do narcissists get bored with long term partners? ›
Long-term relationships are boring to narcissists. They are drawn by the chase and may idealize the partners they can't have. They may appear to be charming, generous, and caring at first. But when they have you, they begin to get bored and to look for your faults.Why do narcissists discard you so easily? ›
The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them. A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narc's ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply.Do narcissists watch you after discard? ›
They Want to Keep Tabs On You
The phrase “keep tabs” means to carefully watch (someone or something) in order to learn what that person or thing is doing. Narcissists frequently keep tabs on the people that they've discarded because it allows them to gather the information that they need to maintain power and control.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.What makes a narcissist move on? ›
Long term exposure to abuse can therefore lead to new neural pathways being formed which simply bypass emotions completely. It's protective evolution of the brain. And means that narcissists never feel hurt, pain or love. Therefore they can move on without a care in the world.Do narcissist get jealous if you move on? ›
For a person who is narcissistic, their self-esteem is often tied to your relationship with them. When they see that you have moved on and are now dating someone else, they will feel jealous and threatened.Do narcissists regret losing you? ›
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.Do narcissists get over people quickly? ›
It is very common for narcissists to jump from relationship to relationship without giving themselves, or others, time to reflect and get closure. Narcissists get over their exes very quickly.How do you tell if a narcissist is jealous of you? ›
- The inability to congratulate others on a job well done.
- A constant redirection to ones self when he or she is not in the center of attention. ...
- Contempt and condescension.
- Minimization and misattribution.
- Perpetually moving the goal posts.
Narcissists hate losing their supply of attention, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me."Will a narcissist always want you back? ›
Yes, they often do come back to relationships. A narcissist will repeat their cycle of abuse as long as they need you as a supply. Even their distressing discard performance will leave you in a firm belief they're done with you; a narcissist will come back.Will a narcissist ever want you back? ›
Narcissists and other manipulators can try to win you back even after you cut them out of your life. In fact, they can do that even if they were the one who ended the relationship.What triggers the narcissist to want you back? ›
To make the narcissist want you back, remind them of what they're missing by showing them you've got plenty of new supply to give. The narcissist thrives on external validation. Because of their deep-rooted insecurities, they cannot love themselves, and they seek affirmation from outside sources.
When narcissists face the same situation, however, their refrain is, “No one could have seen this coming!” In refusing to acknowledge that they have made a mistake, narcissists fail to learn from those mistakes, a recent study from Oregon State University – Cascades found.Does a narcissist ever let go of a victim? ›
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.Can a narcissist fall in love permanently? ›
Can a Narcissist Ever Be Happy in a Relationship? While it may be possible for a narcissist to develop feelings of love towards someone else, they struggle to maintain lasting relationships due to their lack of empathy and tendency towards selfishness.Will a narcissist ever give up? ›
Narcissists usually never willingly give up power. Sometimes they would rather destroy their own companies with the attitude of “if I can't have it, no one can.” It doesn't matter that it will ultimately hurt them the most. Many times legal action must be taken to have a narcissist in power removed.What stops the narcissist coming back? ›
If the narcissist keeps coming back – he does so because he is convinced that there is Narcissistic Supply to be obtained – or because he has yet to secure an alternative source of supply. Let him get his fix somewhere else. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to go “No Contact” and refuse to react to him.How does a narcissist react when you stop chasing them? ›
Narcissists often react negatively when the people they are chasing stop giving them the attention they crave. You only reinforce their toxic behavior when you ignore them after they have done so for a while.When the narcissist realizes you no longer care? ›
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.Will a narcissist change their mind? ›
It's important to remember that a narcissist can change if they are genuinely dedicated and open to growth. Some individuals may have more insight into their behaviors and have a greater desire to change. Unfortunately, research on if (and how) narcissists change is limited.